


England Can't Cook

by jbird181



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 14:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6242788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbird181/pseuds/jbird181
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WikiHow made cooking dinner seem so easy...</p>
            </blockquote>





	England Can't Cook

As soon as he stepped off the last flight of stairs, a hero has to be fit in case an alien invasion or quest arises after all, Alfred was greeted by an awful smell: the odor of garbage that had had a nasty run-in with a skunk before being left out in the heat for a few hours. After a moment, the awful screech of a fire alarm rung throughout the hallway. A few neighbors poked their heads out of their doors, worry lines tracing their foreheads, to investigate. Alfred ignored them, fumbling in his pocket for his key before unlocking his apartment door. It swung open to reveal Arthur, atop a chair and waving a towel at the fire alarm in vain to shush it. 

The stove was still alight, upon it a large cast-iron pot from which the smell was emanating. The backsplash was splattered with God-only-knows-what, and the wooden spoon stuck in the sink was still smoldering. "Arthur," Alfred asked, taking in the scene. "Did you try to cook again?" 

His boyfriend looked bashful, giving his towel a few more half-hearted flaps. "I got home early, and I thought I'd make you dinner for once." Finally, the fire alarm ceased blaring, leaving empty silence in it's wake. 

Alfred turned off the stove and inspected the blackened contents of the pot. "What in the world was this?" he gagged.

"I... I was making hamburgers."

"In a pot?! Dude, how could you degrade the hamburger like that?"

"Well excuse me for trying to do something nice," Arthur sniffed, crossing his arms. "I didn't have the kind of pan the recipe called for so I substituted with this." He pointed to the pot. "It said to put oil in the pan so I did, and it just went up in flames." 

Alfred looked seriously into Arthur's eyes. "I think this pot is ruined forever." All at once, as if realizing how completely and utterly Arthur had failed at cooking, the two began to laugh, side-splitting chuckles that left them leaning on the counters and gasping for air. 

"Hey, a little salt and pepper and maybe then they would be delicious," Arthur giggled. 

Alfred wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. "So, would you like to go somewhere or order in?"


End file.
